Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
