Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
