did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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