My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
