so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
