I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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