After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
