How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
