I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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