So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
