he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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