Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
