dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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