No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
