Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
