haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
