He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
