can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize