Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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