problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
