Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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