She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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