I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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