Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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