Fine. I'll sleep in my office
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
