Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Randomize
