I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
