he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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