allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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