you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
