Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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