...so i touched it.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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