My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
