11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i think my mom watched the whole time
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
