I looked at my own cervix.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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