Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
