did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
