Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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