you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
