he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
