I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
