I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
