I think I just saw someone hide a body.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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