im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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