I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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