So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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