Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
