Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
nutella sex= disaster
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
