i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When are your genitals available?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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