dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
