I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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