the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
did i just pee glitter
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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